Revelation

[written after the Goa trip with friends. Credit goes to the serene Morjim Beach in North Goa. It was different from other beaches (the sands bore a yellowish orange tinge), very less crowded and unbelievably uncluttered.]

Staring out,

At this endless expanse roiling as the oceans,  

Shimmering in the waning pride of the sun.

At a loss with wounded reasons,

And yearning for at least one. 

The waters grow adamant.

Numbing.

Stinging.

Unforgiving.

In cold jewels enmassed.

Ruthless.

Raging.

Displeased and clinging.

With ruminations attached.

I brace against their elemental anger.

Anger crushing my mortal self.

With a damage intended. 

But not administered.

The uninvited sharers of secrets.

Making me let out,

the mistakes gnawing,

and the shortcomings clawing,

Their known paths inside.

And the throbbing pains.

Everything has come back.

Every moment congealed into a darkling stab.

The haunters accost me this very instant.

Flames and flashes sprout and erupt,

Refusing to let go of my memories,

Scribbled and burnt deep.

Unlocking the vaults full of them,

Through my acts,

Reeking of imperfection.

All of you.
Family.
Friends.
Acquaintances.
Strangers.

Bulldozing your way into innocent lives.

Had never had anything to remind

Save the drudgery and the sameness,
Of the life meant to be lived,

In the mellowed fires of reason and impulse,

Smoldering their cries.

And every moment this illusion rolls on.

Instances and everything that happened,

And is about to happen,

Will remind me of your monotony again.

You can not take me. 

I am already consumed.

You cannot outrun me.

I am in your arms only.

Incapable of peace and protests.

But I will stay nonetheless.

The anguish meant to be lessened,

Gets buried even deeper.

And I stay.

I live.

I fight the tried,

And the tested.

I have become mutiny.

I watch.

And witness my rebirth.

Inconsolable and desperate.

As the sun rays tiptoe their way back from me.

And the receding waves obliterate my footprints.

Never caring to remember them.